Amerikan Infantilization

A Nation of Crybabies

I am not the first person to point out how Amerikans have infantilized themselves. They have become a nation of crybabies - with an agenda too! Sometimes their agendas are forced upon them by government and corporations, but all too often these crybabies have assimilated and integrated their own infantilization and created their own agendas. The progression is:
optimization —> monetization —> normalization —> weaponization
We see this on social media especially, as participants have an easy way to strike out in comments and articles that are instantly available around the world.

Infantilization is usually thought of as “the prolonged treatment of someone as if they are much younger than they really are.” This is a continuing problem for women especially in a patriarchal culture such as the US. High fashion and fast fashion go along with this trend and exacerbate it through clothes designed to emphasize a “baby doll” look. But what happens when the victims of infantilization actually embrace this model themselves?

About a week ago, I engaged in a spat with a restaurateur in Providence, RI, who writes on Substack to promote her restaurant. Her article on “Vibes Aren’t Free” was especially triggering because of the importance of “vibes” in cultural transmission. [Sidebar: The Beach Boys’ Good Vibrations came out in 1967 when “vibes” was already a solid construct in the counterculture and rising up in mainstream culture. It has been a “thing” for over 60 years. The Beach Boys leveraged something that was already there to produce a hit song.] To be blunt, I was quite insulted that someone wants to monetize a cultural bedrock that the restaurateur is already benefiting from. Providing a place for good food is one thing, with the customers providing most of the “vibe.” Parasitizing the phenomenon to make money is quite another. Evidently she thinks the restaurateur and her staff are the sole provider of “vibes.” Not true. But the reason for the article was not just a report on how one restaurateur is trying to capitalize on the vibes created by her customers, but actually to normalize the practice through exposure on social media.

This normalization is Step 3 of the process I postulated above in my first paragraph. Weaponization - Step 4 - is not really an issue here. One could argue that charging a cancellation fee to make a reservation, as we encountered on our recent trip to Lyon, France, is weaponization, but a cover charge hasn’t really risen to that threshold. One could still get up and leave her restaurant after reading the cover charge notice on the menu without paying a fee. In Lyon, if you cancel your reservation, you will pay a fee because you must providing a debit or credit card number to make a reservation. (Not all restaurants of course. Just the high flyers.) Sometimes there is a time limit.

One of the arguments this restaurateur made was that her cover charge is similar to the coperto in Italy. This is a fixed amount added per person to the restaurant bill; usually 2 euros per person. [Her cover charge is $10, five times the coperto charge in Italy.] The coperto is a national policy and covers bread, cutlery, and part of the service. It is not a tip, but an old custom. I do not remember this when we visited Italy in 2006, but we did see it in 2023 and 2025 on our three trips there. I don’t like this idea and I usually just deduct the coperto from my tip. I usually tip at the 10% level in Spain, Italy and Croatia; and it is much appreciated. I have not been back to the US since 2018, when 15-20% was still considered a good tip. Now I hear it is much higher. Good thing I live in France! In France, tipping is not really a “thing” because the servers get paid a good wage and most French people leave nothing. I leave a fiver when we get good service or even a tenner for a high-price meal, like I did in Lyon and on our recent trip to Paris. During our trip to Paris, our Parisian friends thought I overtipped.

My original comment on this article was, “I don’t like cover charges and I don’t like the coperto.” A rather benign statement, but it engendered a tremendous amount of snarkiness and anger on her part. This is a BIG problem with Amerikans. They polarize to such an extent that if you don’t kiss the ring/embrace their view, you are an enemy and must be confronted in any way, shape or form they can think of. No holds barred. This is one of the reasons Amerikans are so disliked abroad. Many times over the years I have heard the statement, “But you are not like other Americans.”

The gist of her argument seemed to be that she was at wit’s end and couldn’t think of anything other than charging more to help out her cashflow. She repeatedly demanded to know what I suggested she do differently. My rejoinder that I would have to look at her books and analyze her foot traffic, procedures, ordering, etc. in order to make any sort of recommendation fell on deaf ears. Evidently I am expected to have some sort of superpower and offer solutions for a business without knowing the situation - BEFORE I criticize. And of course that is ridiculous. Criticism is based on the facts in the foreground and does not require background info. IF you can proffer a solution, you are well ahead of the game because it IMPLIES you have studied the problems. Which of course I could not do, being in France without any sort of investment in her restaurant, whether financially or socially. So she blocked me after a string of vituperation, which I didn’t mind. It is her restaurant after all. But I couldn’t let her get away with the normalization aspect, which is what I repeatedly tried to emphasize. To no avail.

Many bad things have been normalized over the years. Cheating on taxes, especially by billionaires and other people who benefit greatly from a rigged system, has been normalized and some corporations have tried to establish in court that it was required by their shareholders that they take all tax breaks available. Then it gets further normalized as tax cheats just being “pretty damn smart.” Donald Trump has said this kind of thing many times, especially in the context of his carry forward adjustments to his gross income.

Lies can be normalized and this is another “sin” of the Trump Administration, as well as all other Administrations in my lifetime. For example, the Gulf of Tonkin incident in August 1964 was a direct lie that allowed President Lyndon Johnson to further escalate the Vietnam War. The lies are legion in the halls of government. But what is especially troubling is that we now take these lies for granted. There is even a saying which I have heard all my life, “Don’t believe anything of what you hear and only half of what you see.” This is normalization of lies. In fact, the Con Man is somewhat admired in Amerikan culture and many MAGA types seem impressed by how the Trump extended family (sons, son-in-law, daughters and business partners) can engage in so much grift based on their government connections and get away with it.

I am especially incensed with the normalization process because it reinforces the Amerikan System in its sickness and evil. Part of the blame can be laid on the lamestream media. The genocide in Gaza is now on Page 3 because the Strait of Hormuz dominates Page 1. This is a conscious decision by the major media companies. It is no wonder most Amerikans now get their news from personalized social media feeds instead of newspapers and their online editions. They cannot be trusted AND the writing is substandard compared to the last century. As my partner is fond of saying, “When I was young, the newspapers were the grammar standards for correct usage.” I had the same paradigm. Now newspaper writing is just awful. It is like the awful speeches of George H. W. Bush transcribed directly onto the page.

I accuse Amerikans of infantilization because they act like babies. They want a comfortable life with all the bells and whistles without paying for it. If they don’t get it they whine and cry like small children. You could say that I myself am infantilizing them into a broad category. You would be right. But what pisses me off is not the fact that they are greedy crybabies. It is that they want to normalize their excess privilege.

“Of course we should be able to exploit other countries via our weaponized dollar! Of course we can destroy the Nordstream Pipeline so that Europe has little choice but to buy LNG from us. Of course we can disregard environmental protections so that we can fill up the gas tanks of our gigantic pickemup trucks for under $100! Isn’t that right and proper that us Amerikans get the gravy and the rest of the world gets the gristle? [A little nod to Joni Mitchell’s Banquet (1972) right there.] You lookin’ for a fight bub?”

The point of this post is to look for the progression:
optimization —> monetization —> normalization —> weaponization.
It is everywhere and once you see it, you cannot unsee it. For many years I have heard people say, “Great idea! Now how do we monetize it?” This kind of statement is a harbinger of a deep social sickness. Don’t indulge in it. It is the indicator of an infantilized person.